Toronto: The Farewell Tour, Part 1

Some of you know that I love Toronto, that I've been coming up here on business trips almost every week for the past six months, that I've just been laid off and that's the end of my fabulous business trips.

So I'm here in Toronto this weekend for one last time. I'm here on my own steam and my own budget and for my own reasons and the primary reason I'm here is to eat.

Thursday

I was supposed to be up here this week for work so I reserved a spot at the Mill Street Brew Pub's Robbie Burns Dinner. Haggis. Beer. Of course I'll be there! I wasn't going to let anything as silly as losing my job stop me. I crunched the numbers (I do that) and figured that it made sense to drive, especially since I had a bunch of stuff to retrieve from the suite where I'd been staying, more stuff than I could reasonably cram into an empty suitcase. The drive would be about 9 hours with a couple of pit stops, dinner was starting at 6:30, I figured I'd be safe if I left home at 8-ish.

Right. I didn't get on the road proper until almost 11:00. I kept my fingers crossed that maybe I'd only miss the opening round of drinks. The Scottish gods were smiling upon me because that's pretty much what happened. In spite of the occasional white-out-condition snow squalls & a complete parking-lot at Niagara & the customs official who couldn't understand why they gave me a visitor's permit not a worker's permit (um, I dunno... ask the Canadian immigration official who gave it to me!), I made it to the table at just past 7:30. Whew!

I was seated next to a group of gregarious twenty-somethings, three men and two women. They were all recent transplants from Nova Scotia except for the woman who grew up in Ontario where they have a 5th year of high school so she was old enough to buy alcohol when she got to college; as twenty-somethings they're all young enough to remember that as being very important. Ontario Girl reminded me of someone but I couldn't put my finger on it. The guy sitting across from me reminded me of Matt Parkman from Heroes. The two women in the group were really into baking which I wanted to find out more about (because, y'know, I'm into baking!) but frankly the guys hogged the conversation. Guys can do that.

Matt Parkman was really nice, as was Snow Board Dude sitting next to me. We engaged in some lovely conversation that I wish I could remember more of. Here's where I confess that I'm a total lightweight because I had the equivalent of three drinks in three hours and I was really drunk. Yeah. I'm a cheap date. I do remember a bit of the shout-across-the-table conversation with the third guy who works for Forex and is a huge fan of Larry Ellison and kale. Details like that are hard to forget.

Matt Parkman (whose real name is Nick) sent me an e-mail that night to preempt my forgetfulness & remind me about mesquite flour which makes amazing cookies and to definitely check out the North Market at St. Lawrence, not just the South Market. This is important because even though I got the e-mail and read the e-mail, I still didn't manage to remember about North Market until it was almost packed up & because of that I missed getting the local buckwheat honey. It's kind of sad that I forget that I've been reminded of something... If you're over 40 you know what I mean and if you're under 40 you'll find out.

Enough of this, so what about the food already?? The beer was far more memorable. This makes sense -- it's a brew pub! Since I arrived late I missed the opening round, MSB's Extra Special Bitter. I'd had it before on a prior trip & it's a damn good brew. Even though I wasn't in my seat on time the wait staff poured me a round and delivered it to the table. I was very happy to hear that Snow Board Dude drank it in my absence because letting a good beer go to waste is unconscionable. Thank you, Snow Board Dude!

First Course: Homemade Scotch Egg with Helles Bock. I missed the first course as well as the opening round but second course wasn't out yet so I was able to catch up. As soon as the waitress came by all I could say was, "BEER!". It was a long drive. Quick as a flash the Helles Bock appeared before me. Ahhhh. Beer tastes so good after a hard day. I loved this beer. I can't remember the full details (when is Santa going to bring me that iPhone so I can blog in real time?) but I recall a wintry kind of almost-sweet like citrus rind & dried fruit. I think this made it pair well with the deep-fried scotch egg to cut the richness a bit. I want to take a moment in praise of really good deep-fried food. This was a thick & crispy sort of deep-fry with a substantial crunchy crust that still carried the whiff of the fryolator oil on it. You wouldn't think this would be a good thing but I love it. Plus the fact that it was the first food I'd had in about 12 hours.

Second Course: Cock-a-Leekie Soup with Cask IPA. The soup was alright, nothing to write home about. I have extremely high chicken soup standards. The IPA was a standout, much lighter than most IPA's I've been having lately with a bit less effervescence & bitterness. Because of this I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Somehow it was absolutely perfect at that moment.

Third Course: Haggis with Betelgeuse. What's not to like about haggis? Offal & oats boiled in a sheep's stomach! Now I'd never had haggis & the chance to have it was a selling point for me on this meal. Because I have nothing to compare I can't tell you whether this was true haggis or not but I can tell you that it was really, really good food. You might laugh at this description but it reminds me of a rustic sort of risotto, with that creamy-residual-chewy quality about it that comes from the groats. Plus it was clearly cooked with a good portion of animal fattiness and that richness makes my eyes roll around in my head. I liked the Betelgeuse very much but unfortunately I can't remember any details to share with you. It must have been very high alcohol because I was getting on pretty damn drunk at this point.

Fourth (Main) Course: Filet Mignon topped with Dalwhinnie Scotch sauce, served with Bashed Neeps and Champit Tatties with Black Watch. Great stuff, this Scotch Ale! Roasty nutty & savory caramelly and maybe a tad chocolatey. I loved this beer. The steak was good but, again, I have very high standards for steak. Frankly, I make a better steak than most of what I can get in a restaurant, plus I go for a much fattier cuts & the sauce wasn't ample enough or rich enough to compensate. The plate begged for a bit more color to balance the earth tones. I'm picky about this. Give me a token green. But perhaps this isn't traditional with neeps & tatties and beige is all that's allowed. As an aside, I remember that the neeps inspired Forex-Larry-Ellison-Kale Guy to go on a bit about how he loves all vegetables except peppery turnips and we agreed that kale would have been a welcome addition to the plate. I don't think kale is very Scottish, though, and for the record, I love turnips.

Dessert: The Bards Ice Cream Sensation & Scottish Short Bread. At this point I really am drunk so I can't tell you a damn thing about dessert. The conversation wound down & I said my goodbyes to the twenty-somethings. I also wanted to say goodbye to Night Bar Girl (another story there) so I went over to the bar & ordered a pint of the ESB I had missed in the Welcome Beer. Big mistake. Huge epic fail of a mistake. A few sips in & my body could take no more alcohol. No, I didn't get sick but I'm sure I was slurry stupid. A proper thanks to NBG for her amazing bartender skills will have to wait for another time.

And that, folks was my evening. But this is barely the tip of the iceberg of what's yet to come and with that, I'll leave you waiting for more.